The Benefits of Self-Disclosure

One of the factors that contribute to developing effective interpersonal relationships with the friends we live or work with is self-disclosure. Before defining what self-disclosure is, it would be more appropriate to define what it is not.

What is Not Self-Disclosure?

Self-disclosure is not about providing information to others such as "how old we are," "where we were born," "what foods we like," "which schools we attended," or "which sports team we support."

Sharing such information with others is considered self-description rather than self-disclosure.

The information shared for the purpose of self-description is typically not private and can easily be obtained from other sources. Since this type of information is not confidential, it is accessible even if the person does not explicitly reveal it. Moreover, these details do not carry any risk, as they do not expose the individual to blame or criticism. No one can judge or accuse you based on such personal facts.

What is Self-Disclosure?

On the other hand, self-disclosure refers to expressing “what we think,” “what we feel,” and “what we want” to others. It is a communication process in which a person shares information about themselves that they have kept hidden, verbally conveying their feelings, needs, and self-awareness to another person.

The information shared through self-disclosure is unique to the individual and cannot be learned through other means unless revealed by the person themselves. For instance, your thoughts about your manager, your biases regarding a political party, or your opinions on certain legal regulations being considered in your country could become dangerous information if used against you. Therefore, self-disclosure carries more risk compared to self-description.

However, when self-disclosure is done at the right time, in the right place, and in appropriate ways, it can play a crucial role in fostering strong and healthy human relationships. For instance, if there is a rift between you and a close friend that you cannot understand, opening up to your friend may prevent the estrangement and strengthen your bond. Similarly, if you share your discomfort about the mistreatment of homeless individuals in your community with a friend or group-expressing your feelings and thoughts-you may find support from those who share the same sentiments. This support could lead to taking positive steps toward solving the issue.

Benefits of Self-Disclosure

Clearly and openly sharing what you think, feel, and want-essentially, engaging in self-disclosure-offers four key benefits:

  1. Effective communication

  2. Reduction of stress

  3. Facilitating self-awareness

  4. Building strong relationships

1. Self-Disclosure Leads to Healthier and More Accurate Communication

The effectiveness of communication depends on the individuals involved having realistic information about one another. When people attempt to communicate based on guesses or their own perceptions rather than actual information, effective communication becomes nearly impossible. If we lack clear and accurate information about others, we are forced to rely on our perceptions, which can be misleading.

To establish healthy communication with those around us, we must implement an appropriate and accurate self-disclosure process.

For example, instead of sitting in silence with a sullen expression when faced with a situation that bothers you, if you express your feelings about the issue appropriately to the people involved, you can initiate a more effective communication process and find a quicker resolution to the problem.

Communication based on assumptions is not effective communication. Effective communication is built on accurate information and data. Therefore, to avoid misunderstandings and rumors, it is beneficial to carefully disclose your feelings and thoughts to those around you.

2. Self-Disclosure Reduces Stress

Stress is a force or stimulus that creates tension, leading to pressure and physical strain. An increase in stress levels can negatively impact a person’s performance in both professional and social life and, at times, even harm their health. It is not difficult to predict that individuals who keep all their feelings, thoughts, problems, likes, and dislikes to themselves-rather than sharing them-will experience higher stress levels.

The renowned psychologist Sidney Jourard states that placing excessive importance on privacy and hiding emotions can lead to stress. Those who continually suppress their feelings and thoughts are likely to experience increased internal tension, which threatens their overall well-being.

Thus, constructive and healthy self-disclosure can reduce stress levels by relieving the internal pressure caused by unexpressed emotions and thoughts.

3. Self-Disclosure Helps Individuals Know Themselves

When a person shares information about themselves through self-disclosure, they have the opportunity to receive feedback from others. Feedback from one’s environment enables a person to better understand themselves. Therefore, there is a direct relationship between self-disclosure and self-awareness.

4. Self-Disclosure Leads to Stronger Relationships

The likelihood of developing healthier relationships is higher among individuals who engage in appropriate self-disclosure. Sharing feelings and thoughts clearly and openly helps people understand each other better.

The key here is to ensure that emotions and thoughts are conveyed accurately during the process of self-disclosure. As John Powell (1969) states in his book Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?:

"A person who builds friendships based on insincere and dishonest relationships is constructing them on sand. Such relationships will never withstand challenging times, and neither party will benefit from them" (p. 77).

Prof.Dr. Abdurrahman Tanriogen